Get Your Ship Together

I’ve never had my ship together, ever! Everytime I attempt to get my ship together, part of me inevitably sails off. Be it an emotional, social, physical, spiritual, sexual, or a financial issue, inevitably someone sits in the corner all by itself at the “feeling good party”, brooding and worrying about what if. You would think at some point my ship would have it together! I mean, it’s a long life after all. But no. My ship only stays together for as long as is necessary to give me a false sense of security, prior to one of the little ship balls inside of me getting bored, distracted, paranoid, frustrated, despondent, or whatever, and then poof! …unity is destroyed and the whole ship house of inner peace sinks.

And if you think the pressure I put on myself to be more organized and be less of a procrastinator is bad, it’s even worse when my boss – with a bug up his arse over some report I failed to submit on time, costing the company so many millions of dollars – chimes in and also tells me “to get my ship together!” As if I am some sort of Wizard who can wave a magic wand and all the little ships dancing around inside my brain immediately drop what they are doing and come running like one giant obedient group of happy campers! It doesn’t work that way. It’s like managing a crew of dementia-ridden sailors on the Titanic when trying to get my ship together.

When my boss tells me to “get my ship together”, for the 13th time this week, it creates just enough urgency where my inner ship will indeed rally and put forth a united front. But it’s only a facade meant to trick my boss and divert attention away from the secret internal mutiny brewing against his wishes for more efficiency in job performance. Like the Allies during WWII who used balloon tanks to mask the true destination of the Normandy beach landings, my ship is very clever! My ship will only do so much.They will only take so much as well! You don’t wish to be around when they’ve reached their limit and the ship hits the fan.

The frustration in getting my ship together, no matter how large or small the task, makes me realize just how absolutely incredible it was that 55 delegates managed to create a Constitution for the United States way back in 1789, when toilet paper was not existent. By the way, it’s still in use today – the Constitution that is.

When I brought this example of Constitutional unity up at a recent meeting with all the ships running around inside my head, in an effort to establish a more cohesive team mentality, inevitably someone pointed out that… 

Rhode Island did not send representatives to the Constitutional Convention, not to mention that only 39 of the 55 delegates actually signed off on the document, so contrary to popular belief the Founding Fathers did not completely have their shit together, and what was my point? 

Auuuuuugh!! 

Written by: T.K.

Chief Editor: C.K.

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