November 22, 2020 A.D.
Dear Colleagues,
It is I, Dr. Henry Noettall – writing to you with an exuberant heart, as I have witnessed a very rare scientific sighting! I will attempt to contain my euphoria and not write frivolous blabber.
First, let me offer you some background. In my previous correspondence, I described a new subspecies, which I, Dr. Noettall, classified as the Capulus Drogota. It was during one of these visits to a strip mall, when I was continuing my observations on the habits of the Capulus Drogota, where the incident happened. After a morning in my observation perch gathering valuable data, I drove to a café to get some refreshments… my thoughts were possessed… then as I looked up, right there in front of my eyes, were two Consegna camion marrone – copulating!
I imagine you are all having a good laugh reading my words, thinking of me under the influence of Psilocybe Cubensis, and the picture I include, a photoshop. I can attest to you, I am completely sober as I write this letter as it is before 5:00 PM here in the Americas and I have yet to sip my first (of soon to be several) evening gin and tonics. Although the picture is marred by my antennae, as I was seated in my automobile and in a rush to capture the moment, you can clearly recognize what was happening.
Needless to say, as I was witnessing this rare natural spectacle, I was in disbelief! To my knowledge, Consegna camion marrones (C.C.M.) have never been witnessed in the act of copulation, let alone photographed. That has changed!
The previous assertion which theorized that C.C.M. mated from a frontal position, is proven incorrect. As you can see in the photo, they mate from tail end-to tail end. I must say… oddly enough, for such a shy species, C.C.M. seemed un-phased by my presence and went about doing their business as if I wasn’t even there. Perhaps there is some inherent voyeurism fetish in their genetic makeup. At this point, such theoretical pondering is premature (Ha-Ha – no pun intended whatsoever, my friends!).
I must leave you now, but do so with a rejuvenated faith in our profession; where given patience and dedication, anything is possible to behold. Perhaps a Sasquatch sighting is next!
With warmest regards,
Dr. Henry Noettall
Key Words:
Consegna camion marrone – Delivery, Truck, Brown
Psilocybe cubensis – psychedelic mushroom
Capulus drogota – Coffee, junkie
Written by: T.K. w/ Jade L.
Photo credit: T.K.
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