Letters from Dr. Noettal

Re: New Species                  

Date: July 12^th in the year of our Lord, 2020 A.D.  

 Dear Colleagues,

I am writing to you to report on the growing subspecies of the Genus Homo – which I feel needs to be added to the organizational chart of all living things on Earth. 

For all intents and purposes, this subspecies is exactly like the species Homo Sapiens in appearance; having all the same physical features: feet, legs, torso, head, eyes, ears, & brains (a toss-up), etc.

What separates this subspecies from normal Homo Sapiens is a distinct appendage that is bent in a 90-degree angle, with a claw at the end of either the left or right arm, but never both. Almost cultish in nature, they walk around all day with this appendage protruding out, as if wishing a handout of your pocket change. This appendage, which is not very flexible, only has a hammer-like motion capability.

This underlying physical characteristic places them into their own category which I, Dr. Noettall, will label Capulus Drogota(o) for the scientific community.

Capulus Dragota congregate mostly at strip malls, but really you can find them anyway as their population is blossoming. There is a very good chance you will bump into one if you work in an office, attend a children’s athletic event, or even visit a grocery store. Should you care to observe them in mass, I would suggest visiting one of these strip malls. Not unlike Tortuga Island in Costa Rica, where the giant turtles come out of the ocean and clamor their way up the beach – there you will find them in abundance coming to and fro from their auto vehicles.

I am not certain at this point what instinctively drives them to these strip malls. Perhaps it is the allure of bright lights. The more likely possibility is they enter these establishments to worship their God, or perhaps to report to a regional leader, as a large number of these meeting locations have what appears to be a circular masonic symbol out front; perhaps their divine leader.

This symbol, which I include for your fascination, appears feminine, though I make no judgement there. It is wearing a crown, topped with a star, and has what appears to be fingerless hands, or claws, indicating this species is perhaps more reptilian in nature and possibly related to Subphylum Crustacea.

It is my belief that Capulus Dragota is more closely related to the subspecies Asinus Foraminis.

My hypothesis is, when it goes for prolonged periods without the fluid sustaining its energy, or when it consumes copious amounts of fluid, it displays a more aggressive demanding manner, and/or, prolonged periods of moodiness.

Should you ever run into either one of these highly unpredictable creatures, I would use the utmost caution attempting to approach them, especially when it first awakens, as they act more like a growling Canis Lupus Familiaris if you get too close to the bone it chews on.

That is all for now. I will continue my observations on Capulus Dragota and report back at a later date.

Warmest Regards,

Dr. Henry Noettall

Keywords:

Capulus Drogata(o) – Coffee Junkie

Asinus Foraminis – Ass & hole

Canis Lupus Familiaris –  Domestic Dog

Written by: T.K.

Chief Editor: Jade L.

References:

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